My plan is to forgive and forget. Forgive myself for being stupid, and forget you ever existed.
My plan
My plan is to forgive and forget. Forgive myself for being stupid, and forget you ever existed.
yesterday , now , tomorrow and forever
I do now miss him and it aches me physically, I miss him all day and night, whenever I am alone I cry longing to see him , I can’t even look at his pictures or read his emails or conversations because i break when I do . I still remember his Voice when we talked through msn which was only few minutes . and remember his beautiful laugh, he keeps asking me to talk to him on phone or msn more often , i refuse to not only because i am not supposed to , because i get choked up and makes me miss him and want him even more, not sexually , I want to be with him for the rest of my life because i am certain he is the one for me and I can never love anyone as much as I love him , he knows the deepest thoughts and knows how i feel and think when I can’t put what i feel or think into words , our conversations last forever and i never have enough .
Just the sound of his name in movies or when i read the credits, or in books or tv , makes me heart jumps, i love the sound and how his name is written , i feel warm and relieved every time he leaves off line messages saying he loves me and misses me and wants me to get online when i could.
I miss the long nights we spent talking and dreaming of scenarios how we can meet and how things would be if we got married, of course I was being me being prude but in a playful way,when I was about to burst and wish all the things he says would really happen for real .
every night, i lay down, crying myself to sleep, imagining myself married to him and cuddling and making me feel safe, i feel guilty for having these thoughts when i actually never been with a man . but i cant change how I feel, I try to make my self hate him picture him with other women, even when doing that turns my stomach and burns me up . knowing that hurts me even more , but at least i would stop dreaming of being with him and deluding myself that he will be mine .
but that cant make me stop of wondering how he feels when he hold my hands , touch my face , how he sound when he sound when he says my name and says he loves me , what it feels when i look him in the eye and see how he really feels for me. i feel even embarrased when i wonder how would it feel if we kissed , and how he tastes .
then again , what difference would I make if he had me ? would he love me as much as i love him and be devoted to me ?
would he love me more than any one he loved before ?
I still miss him terribly , hearing from him and talking to him always makes my day, and a day without that, makes me feel empty and dried out .
3 years since we met , and i still love him every day
The worst thing about getting your heart broken is going to sleep and knowing that when you wake up, nothing will have changed.
I hate those moments right before you go to sleep, when you are forced to think about all the things you tried so hard to forget.
Love really does hurt, according to researchers. New brain scanning technologies are revealing that the part of the brain that processes physical pain also deals with emotional pain. And in the same way that in some people injury can cause long-lasting chronic pain, science now reveals why some will never get over such heartbreak.
